What Your Mama Never Told You….Priceless Advice For Your Twenties

Your twenties can be an exciting and thrilling time, but it can hard navigate all the life changes in this season as well. When you hear the messages of society, dear daughter, you have to know how to filter all those voices. You have to know what wise counsel looks like so you can flee in the other direction when well intended people give foolish advice.

Getting married young is a real gift. Getting married young is NOT settling, NOT foolish, NOT regrettable, but it isn’t for everyone. For you my daughter, it’s a fit. Don’t listen to the nay-sayers when they speculate your too young to know what love is. Don’t let them kill your enthusiasm by saying your getting married too quickly. Don’t let their negative and shallow comments sting so much, they are not the Holy Spirit. It’s okay to make this life long commitment and treasure it for the precious gift it really is.

Ohhhhh my child, when God starts to bless you will children, and your the first of your friends to have a baby, it’s ok. You don’t have to have all the answers to all the questions to be a mom. Here is a hint, NO ONE actually has all the answers. You can best prepare for this upcoming momentous occasion by preparing your own heart. Immerse yourself in Scripture, and walk closely with the Lord in prayer. Deepen you relationship with your husband because there is yet more change on the horizon. Prepare your heart for this time in your life that will call for sacrifice life you’ve never known. Not only will this miraculous little human growing inside you teach you more about yourself than any other endeavor you tackle, but it will occupy a part of your heart and soul in a special way. This baby will educate you on how selfish you really are, how much your body likes sleep (but won’t get it). Since you will have four babies in six years….eight hours of sleep is out of the question for the foreseeable future.  When you loose a child during an ectopic pregnancy, don’t take is so personal. It’s not your fault, it’s no ones fault, it is a trial you’ve been called to walk through so that you can later use this sadness for good. You will be numb, you will feel distant, nothing anyone can say will make you feel better. This is normal, this is grief, there is a cycle of anger and anguish, it is only human to feel these things, it is not okay to stay stuck there.

When you and your husband decide that you will stay home and raise all these little munchkins (despite your college degree) it may not be a popular decision with everyone. When other make snide remarks (mainly behind your back) about what a bad decision this is, DO NOT LISTEN. Learning to let those voices drift right over your shoulder and making whatever decision is best for your family is going to be one of your most valuable tools going forward.

Another pearl of wisdom my girl, you must learn to slow down and savor this season. Your a doer, a determined mind, a hard worker, and all those are characters I taught you. Those attributes are also a dangerous combination if not kept in check with the big picture of this season. Sit on the floor more with your toddler and play Legos, that load of laundry can wait. Lay down on the couch and steal a nap if you get lucky enough that everyone in the house is sleeping (this will be a unicorn experience…so seize the moment). Giggle more, stop taking life so seriously and ruling over all those little people like a drill sergeant (even though I understand you feel it is needed for survival).

In closing my oldest daughter, know that you are loved. You are enough. You are worthy. You are going to leave a big imprint on the souls of your children. It seems like chaos now, but you will back on it with a heart bursting love and joy. Love well, laugh often, and treasure up all these things in your heart.

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